id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
