The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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