oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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