weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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