this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
