Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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