You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
