Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
