So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
