are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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