Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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