absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
