watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
