Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Another day, another engagement, another cat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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