Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
