Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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