Banned from zoo.
Again?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
