That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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