The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
