could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
