is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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