it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
