I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
