I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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