There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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