Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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