I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
