is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
