i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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