Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Houston, we have a blender
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
