You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm so fucking centered right now
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
