we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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