And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
