Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
