Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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