also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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