I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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