I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
