If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
