I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
