if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
