You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
