your room smells of hookers.
And success
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
