How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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