So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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