He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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