Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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