Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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