OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
