Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
