Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
