Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
as a side note pls kill me
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