Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
