Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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