Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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