i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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