I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
