I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
