I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I wish I could teleport
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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