is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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