if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
