Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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