How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
