I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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