It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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