I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
