just come out here and I will go home with you...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
