Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
don't judge my taste in strippers
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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