we have pet lesbian snakes
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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