On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
