I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
