k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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