its not stalking. its research.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
