You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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