I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
