you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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