i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
FUCK WHALES
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
