So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
